It’s not a choice, it’s a decision

Being gay has two sides to the coin. On one hand, there is the attraction. Being attracted romantically to individuals of the same sex is not a choice. You don’t get to choose, to a certain extent, who you fall in love with or have feelings for. However, children are typically not born openly gay. Young people and adolescents tend to want to fit in with the majority and so the decision to live openly as a gay person in society (i.e. come out of the closet) is a bit of a choice with timing considerations. In other words, the people you decide to engage in romantic relationships with or sexual activity with is a conscious act. Thus, there’s a bit of a paradox to being gay in the sense there’s a component to it that is a choice and an alternate component that isn’t a choice. This goes back to the idea of being gay as a bit of a game that you have to play (Are you smart enough to be gay?)

For individuals who experience same-sex attraction, there are currently two ways of going about living a viable life. One way is to interpret that attraction to the same-sex as a form of platonic, brotherly or sisterly love. Of course, this necessitates that you find the right people you want to profess that love to. I suppose this method is the basis for the major religions–that tend to stigmatize homosexuality–along with the fraternity systems in the colleges that prioritizes brotherly love. The other way is to interpret that same-sex attraction as a more romantic (i.e. sexual) form in which you are aspiring to live openly as a gay couple, which has just recently been accepted in society. Of note, it’s important to remember that every individual has a different need for sexual activity–some people just require a lot more sex than others.

Therefore, in some ways, the decisions you make associated with that same-sex attraction–if you possess it–is an idealogical statement and is, in and of itself, a neutral thing (i.e. it’s neither bad nor good). It is just an expression of how you think you should live your life. At the end of the day, there is freedom in the West and your lifestyle within a democracy is ultimately your decision.