New friends

Since moving to Los Angeles, I’m really starting to make new friends here. I joined the Los Angeles Tennis Association, which is the LGBTQ tennis club associated with the city. It seems to be primarily consisting of gay men, which is actually really interesting because it’s such a small subset of the community. Since medical school and coming out to my therapist as gay, I’ve had a lot of trouble making new friends. I’ve always just felt a bit out of place in whichever environment I found myself to be in whether it be the Bay Area, China, or what not. It’s not a great feeling to be in that situation. 

However, there are instances in Los Angeles when I also don’t feel like I fit in with the people around me as well. It’s a bit difficult to do that as a gay Asian man, to be honest. Homosexuality is I think dominated by the stereotypical youthful, tall, muscular, well-endowed caucasian male. That is the sort of ideal. However, as much as I try to work out, I don’t see myself fitting that mold very well, though I also don’t really not fit that mold as well being six feet tall and having a well proportioned body. 

Making new friends comes with its pros and cons. I do feel that I’m exposed to different personalities and have the potential for there to be conflict, which I try to avoid. However, that’s the case in any human interaction. It is a bit strange that I’ve had to wait this long to find a group of individuals I can begin to call my people even though I’m still far from integrated into the group.