“Give me the jackass,” said no one ever

In college, I hung out with a group of people who harbored this belief that “nice guys finish last” (because they were at least fun). I don’t personally think that’s an accurate assessment or good strategy for the real world. I think these people originated from relatively lower socioeconomic classes in the United States, so it kind of makes sense that they harbor this mentality. In other words, I don’t necessarily think it’s their fault or blame them for thinking this way.  

I imagine that if there is a definition of toxic masculinity that that would be the definition: this belief that to get ahead in life and to get women, you have to be completely ruthless toward your fellow human beings. But is that really the correct way to go about life? I don’t think so. My own father sort of has this mentality I sense from the way he engages with other people, so I think this false belief is ingrained in a lot of men. I personally think the ‘I need to be a jackass to get ahead’ mentality comes from a lack of intelligence or flat out ignorance. 

Life is a team sport and successful relationships require mutual empathy and understanding. No one ever wants to work with someone who belittles them or makes them feel lesser. No one likes to be bullied. It’s just sort of common sense. I have since let go of many of those folks who I once called friends as our paths in life have diverged significantly. I wonder whose philosophy will come out on top in the end?