Obligations

I want to write about obligations today; specifically, the narratives within society that we are impelled to follow as individuals part of a larger community. Perhaps the most established narrative that I know of for most middle-class folks is the one that says to go to college, get a job, get married, and have children. There are people in this world who live for that narrative, and dare not deviate at all costs, no matter how strong the counterargument is. Many, I imagine, genuinely want to fulfill this narrative, as there’s no other conceivable way for them to live their lives. I suppose these are the people that end up in suburbia driving those mediocre automobiles and living those mundane lives that I always complain about. I don’t aspire to be one of those people–not that there’s anything wrong with that path–and I’m not on that particular trajectory at the moment, so I think I’m really happy about that. 

But I also think about things like coming out of the closet. Coming out of the closet is very difficult for many people. It’s an ongoing process that exposes you to the ridicule of the world. It requires an individual to be strong and to have thick skin. It’s totally true that some people can’t do it: it’s simply too difficult an ask for them. I think there are many people who, at heart, possess same-sex attraction but, through no fault of their own, are in an environment where coming out simply is not an option. Though I’m also sure that, for others, it may very well be their fault because of inherent personal vices like cowardice. At the end of the day, coming out of the closet is not a right-or-wrong thing, but more of an exercise in personal judgment. You are the director of your own life.

All in all, it’s an interesting thing to be gay in modern times. Being openly gay is still not widely accepted given the overwhelming number of conservative attitude that exists in the world. Yet, perhaps there’s something uniquely valid also in the conservative criticism of contemporary gay culture: the parties, the drugs, the open debauchery. It could all be a bit much, and overt hedonism is certainly not the healthiest state of being. At the same time, however, the conservative lifestyle on the opposite end of the spectrum leaves little for the average intellectual to get excited over. 

But so long as there are rules–spoken and unspoken–there will always be obligations and people who will contort themselves to fulfill them. One has to wonder if such a life is worth living? One devoted to protocols that smother the inner voice. How much of that are you willing to tolerate?