Nighttime blues

I’ve written before that my mood tends to get very low at night. I think it’s a facet of my bipolar, I’m not really sure, and I don’t really know a solution to this problem. I think what I really need to do is to find something productive to keep me distracted. AI recommended that a potential cure is to journal, so I’m going to work on the blog to address whatever comes to mind during the period right before I fall asleep when I tend to get a bit depressed. 

Firstly, I do notice that I spend a bit of time glued to the screen no thanks to the allure of social media. I really should be a little better about getting off the apps, but it’s just very difficult to keep track of time when you’re using it to, say, stalk a new or old crush. Social media is rather toxic in that regard. I wonder if I should set a timer for it or not: something to think about certainly. 

Secondly, I noticed that a lot of my distress is centered on the fact that I’m still single at the age of 36. This is not necessarily an area that I can readily address, but I do feel that I’m able to at least write about it and think the situation through in my mind before I let it just sit and fester for the entire night. It’s certainly not easy at my age right now especially with my plans to go into architecture school and all. I sort of just want to get the show on the road and get everything over with. I don’t want to work any longer than I have to before I return to school. 

To conclude, I think the nighttime blues is a common thing for someone with bipolar who is prone to depressive states. I’m currently not on any antidepressants to address this issue from a pharmacological vantage point (the depression that is) nor do I really care to. I think what I’ve been prescribed at the moment for my bipolar is more than enough for me. At the end of the day, I think I will make blogging a consistent, nightly routine.