Uncertainty

I suppose at this point, it’s normal to feel a bit of uncertainty about architecture. However, the decision has already been made, so there’s really nothing to fear or to say on this matter. It’s simply about saying goodbye to my current colleagues and then transitioning to a new set of peers at the school of architecture. It’s going to be a strange transition for sure at the age of 37, but I don’t really have a choice on that matter. Once again, I feel like this path chose me, and I’m just improvising a way forward now. 

Right now, my biggest restraint is finances. I’m going to have to miss out on a lot of socialization and travel because I simply cannot afford to go into any more debt than I have already budgeted for. It’s a cruel reality that I live in, but I guess my life will be slightly on hold until I graduate from architecture school in 2029 at the age of 40. There is a saying that life truly begins at the age of 40; before that, you’re just doing research. I’m paraphrasing this from Carl Jung. Well, I don’t think that quote can be any more accurate than in my case. 

I’ve noticed that when I do save money, it’s usually on food and socializing. That’s sort of where I’m willing to cut corners. I’ve been saving money by not purchasing clothing in the past year, and I think that’s been going well. When I was still in the sciences or in medicine, one way I dealt with stress was by purchasing things. That’s a poor habit that I have. I don’t really know where I get it from, but it’s something that I need to curtail going forward if I’m going to stay on this artist path.